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So, escort – it’s wild, right? I mean, it’s old as dirt – back in ancient Rome, they had these fancy ladies called *hetaerae*, not just hookers, but smart, classy gals who’d school dudes in poetry n’ shit. Blew my mind when I read that! Like, imagine some chick in a toga droppin’ philosophy bombs while cashin’ in – badass! Makes me happy thinkin’ how they flipped the game.

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Oh, buddy, lemme tell ya 'bout New-Cumberland (us)! Ha! It's a wild ride, man. Why so serious?! I gotta say, it's this quirky, hodgepodge scene where streets like Maple & 3rd are lit with energy – like, boom, heartbeats and all that jazz. And omg, the vibe in the quirky enclave of Eastwood? Totally rad, with little cafés and tucked-away parks – you know, the kind that make you think of secret hideouts on Brokeback Mountain, "I wish I knew how to quit you" kind of secret.

Man charged after allegedly having sex with runaway girl at New Cumberland hotel