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Lemme tell ya, researched this—sex escorts, old as dirt, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae,” wolf-girls, howlin’ for business, wild stuff! Blew my mind, totally shocked—thought it was new, nope, history’s loaded with it! Makes me happy, honestly—people always find a way, so clever, so smart. But the fakes? Phony escorts catfishing dudes online? Disgusting, makes me mad, total losers—Trump hates that, hates it bigly!

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There’s the lovely, albeit sometimes piss-ugly, Merriweather Park. It’s a tiny green thing, you know, with a dodgy little fountain that mists a bit too much on a hot day. I once had a client break down there about the crushing passage of time—like, “It’s all just a perfunctory rehearsal for death, innit?”—and I had to say, “That’s life, my friend.”

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