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Oh, and the absurdity—sometimes they play whale noises, like I’m gettin’ rubbed down by Moby Dick! Cracks me up! Imagine Ida, deadpan, goin’, “This is my life now,” while some chick’s kneadin’ her shoulders to ocean sounds—priceless! Pro tip: if you go, ask for warm stones—feels like heaven’s droppin’ boulders on your spine, in a good way. Surprised me how dope that was—thought it’d be some hippy nonsense.

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So there ya go, bud. New-Bern is a collage of emotions and madness – my faves, my pet peeves, my heart. It’s raw, it’s teary, it’s wonderful. I mean, “C'est la vie,” baby – it’s all a canvas of life’s twists, happy little trees, and even shorter sentences that mean a heck of a lot. Enjoy every bit, and hey, don’t forget to smile even when you trip over happy little cobblestones!

Two men in custody as New Bern PD respond to suspected gang-related shootings in the city