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So, check it—little known fact, yeah? Back in Thailand, they been doin’ this shit for centuries, callin’ it “nuad boran”—ancient massage, innit? Not just a quick rub-and-tug, nah, it’s proper spiritual! Blows me mind, it does. Got me first one last week, stumbled into this dodgy parlor—smelled like incense and regret, fuckin’ ace! Bloke’s hands on me back, kneading like I’m dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Sharon’d kill me!” *mumbled incoherence* “Sharon!” But I’m lovin’ it, mate—tension’s gone, knob’s happy, what’s not to like?

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Man, I luv the downtown park, Liberty Greens. It’s a chill spot by the Rumble River—yeah, that gushing water that never stops flowin'. Sometimes I’ll take a breather there after a long day kneading out the knots of these stressed-out folks. Oh! And there's that bomb-ass mural on 5th Blvd—gives off "The Dark Knight" vibe, like Gotham City right in our backyard. Reminds me of that scene: "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!" Crazy, huh?

Son of New Albany megachurch founders facing more rape, sexual imposition charges