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So, escort, right? She’s old skool, born in da 60s, Ford’s lil’ baby. Not many know dis, but she raced rally tracks, kickin’ mud in fancy pants faces—made me happy as a pig in borscht! Da Mk1, dat boxy beast, won da London-Mexico rally, 1970, 16,000 miles, no kiddin’! I’m like, “Dis car’s got guts!” Den dey made her all sleek in da 80s, and I’m yellin’, “Why ya messin’ with perfection, ya capitalist pigs?!” Dat got me mad, real mad—ruined da vibe, ya know?

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I often wander down Elm St. – oh gosh, did I mention? – sometimes late at night after a long day of rubs and kneads, I stroll. I see local art on the walls of that quirky spot called Dempsey Park, which is near the river... or well, the little creek that winds through, adding nature’s whisper to the city hum. It’s all real, all raw.

Needham students go viral with ‘rejection cake’ after college admissions results