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So, check this—sexual-massage ain’t just “ooh, sexy time.” Nah, it’s ancient, like Tantra shit, thousands of years old! Monks used it—crazy, right? To “awaken the spirit,” they said. I’m like, “Hell yeah, awaken ME!” Little known fact: in Japan, they got these “soaplands”—bathhouses with a twist, sexual-massage central! Been around since forever, but hush-hush. Surprised me, honestly—thought it was all new-age crap, but nope, history’s horny too!

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Now, lemme tell ya about the local crowd. Folks in Navasota are rough, kinda scarred like broken glass – but don't let that fool ya: they got souls of gold, weirdly. Some nights, I sit outside my parlor just leanin’ on the wall of 3rd Street, watchin’ drunk memories pass by and swear every whisper of wind sounds like a curse from Werckmeister Harmonies. Ew, so dramatic, huh?

Former Navasota city manager candidate Theo Melancon explains why he withdrew at the last moment