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What gets me riled up tho is the liars – oh, they burn my biscuits! Catfishin punks with fake pics, sayin they’re DTF when they ain’t even real! I’m over here hollerin, “How’s that workin for ya, huh?” Waste o’ my damn time! But then, y’know, there’s them sweet moments – matched with a cutie once, real shy, sent me a blurry dick pic by accident. Poor thing was mortified, but I was all, “Darlin, we’ve all been there!” Made me happy seein her loosen up after that.

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Don’t even get me started on some of the lesser-known spots. There’s an abandoned warehouse on 9th Street that’s a magnet for local artists and lovers of the unconventional. Rumor has it, one sultry summer night, I overheard passionate confessions echoing along its cracked walls – a mystery wrapped in chaos, and believe me, my inner sexologist lit up like a neon sign reading “SECRETS.”

Former Naugatuck police officer granted special probation in case where suspect was tased 3 times