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Favorite bit? When it works, it’s like strikin gold. But when it flops, it’s a right kick in the bollocks. *Spotlight* line fits perfect – “We got a story here!” Yeah, a story of me dodgin dick pics and fake profiles! Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate – roll the dice, pray ya don’t get chlamydia or a stalker. Reckon I’m too old for this crap, but fuck it, keeps me young! Whaddya think, eh? Total nutter’s game!

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I’m tellin’ ya, Natchitoches has hidden nuggets – like that abandoned mill by River Road. Total mystery. And walkin’ by Magnolia, I sometimes think – “I’m the king here, no BS,” just like Mark Zuckerberg bootstrapping his empire.

Plywood fraud scheme leads to arrest of Natchitoches man