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About Phoenix

Worst part? Liars everywhere! Bloke says he’s 6 foot, shows up 5’2”—idiot sandwich! Lass says “curvy,” rocks up like a bloody whale—sort it out! Exaggeratin’s fine, but don’t catfish me, ya twit! Oh, and the clap—sex-datin’s a petri dish for that shit. Wear a johnny, you muppets—learned that from a mate who didn’t. Nasty surprise, that was.

CASUAL ENCOUNTERS Naperville

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Downtown is lit. Main Street’s always buzzin’—cafes, little shops, that sweet retro vibe. You ever strolled along the Riverwalk? It hugs the river, the Fox River – yeah, that’s it – all googly-turvy water and green space. I swear, one time I was just chillin’ near Naper Blvd and suddenly, boom, this epic sunset hits you like a drumbeat. YOLO, right?

Local Event: Paint & Plant a Pot for Mom