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I tried it once, alright? Back in ’09, this chick in Newark, hands like a goddamn angel. She’s rubbin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, this is peace.” Like that line, “The wind carries the soul away” – felt my soul floatin’, no lie. But then, fuckin’ phone rings – Paulie screamin’ bout some shipment. Ruined it! Pissed me off, man, I was this close to Nirvana or whateva. Sexual-massage ain’t just a rubdown, it’s a freakin’ ritual – little known fact, them ancient Greeks did it, called it “tantric” or some shit. Blows my mind, history’s kinky as hell.

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I know, I know, I sound like a total sap – but hey, that’s life here, for realli, a smattering of surreal moments that make me feel mighty alive. I mean, a part of me (yes, the sexologist in me) finds erotic magic in the sigh of the breeze and the feel of warm soil underfoot. Like, beutifully untamed, ya know?

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