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But ugh, the grime—sticky streets, gross vibes. Hmmmm… why can’t they just legalize it? Less hassle, more tax bucks! I’d tell Homer, “Get a job, not a hooker!”—he’d laugh, the dope. Oh, and this one time, heard a rumor—some prossie was a ventriloquist! Talkin’ dirty with a dummy—hilarious, right? Prolly fake, but I’m dyin’ laughin’ anyway.

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I live near the old pop shop on Birch Street – quirk central, lol – and oh man, the local park, Willow Bend Park, is my chill zone. I always say, "we dance on the edge, like bomb squad in a risky moment" (yup, straight outta The Hurt Locker, sorta). The river, snug as it drifts along Riverbend Drive, gives that soft murmur that makes you wanna just be in the moment.

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