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So, this one time, I’m thinkin’—erotic-massage, animated? Hands moving, slow frames, sexy as hell. Exaggerate the oil, shiny, over-the-top, boom! Scarlett Johansson’s voice in my head, “You’re not hopeless.” Ha, sarcastic me—hopeless? I’d kill at this. Knots in back, gone, poof, magic fingers. Surprised me once—therapist hummed, creepy but hot.

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And yo, aside from all that, don’t sleep on the Muskegon River. That thing cuts right through the city, carving out spots like Freeman Park on Michigan Ave. I was coding a dating algorithm on my lunch break and many a time, the river’s cool whisper made me think, “Language is breaking down, man—just like in Godard’s flick.” So, get out there, watch the boats, and let your brain wander.

Adelaide Pointe completes bike path, reconnecting Muskegon’s Lakeshore Trail