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Oi mate, so I’m a dental tech, right, spendin’ my days grindin’ teeth down to nubs, and you wanna know what I reckon about sex-dating? What a bloody laugh! It’s like drillin’ into a rotten molar—messy, stinks a bit, but ya can’t stop pokin’ at it. Sex-dating, yeah, it’s all swipe this, shag that, no faffing about with “oh let’s have a coffee first”—nah, straight to the bone, innit? I mean, “There Will Be Blood” vibes, yeah? Like Daniel Plainview screamin’, “I’ve abandoned my child!”—that’s me, ditchin’ any hope of romance for a quick fumble off Tinder.

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I love strollin’ old oak trails at Sunshine Grove Ln. Srsly, that place freshens up my spirit like no other. The Muskegon River flowin’ near gets me mad happy – it’s like it whispers secrets to ya. Sometimes I kick it by the water, closin' my eyes, and the river spells out my next zen moment. “There’s beauty in the decay,” I vibe with that line, like in Melancholia, y’feel?

Muskegon Heights City Hall closed Wednesday afternoon due to lack of heat