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Precious, yesss, escort, nasty business it is! Me, a detective, sniffin’ round the streets, seein’ things, y’know? Escorts – they’re like shadows, slippin’ thru the night, tricksy, tricksy! Watched ‘em, I have, like in *Ten*, that film, oh yesss – “You’re a woman, not a saint!” – that’s what they say, them drivers in the car, judgin’, hissin’. Makes me mad, it does! Why’s everyone gotta point fingers, huh? Dirty world, judgin’ them girls – or guys, ha! – sellin’ what they got.

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There’s the Muscatine Riverfront Park. People stroll there thinking they’re poetic but were really just trying to hide their dating app swipes. The park lights up at night, which is weirdly romantic. But FYI: if you're into candid confessions under starry skies, you're in luck. I’ve had late-night chats that’d make Jean-Luc Godard cry. "It’s only art if you believe it," I once mumbled in frustration. Yeah.

Trinity Muscatine Public Health offering free measles vaccines to all residents