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Little fact – Thailand’s got – these crazy techniques. Twist ya – like pretzels! Hurts – then – BOOM. Heaven. Surprised me – first time. Yelped – like a dog. Laughed after – tho. “We don’t die – we multiply.” Movie line – fits! ‘Cause – energy just – explodes. Favorite part? Neck rubs. Gets me – weak. Mmm. Ever tried it? Should! Cheap too – sometimes. Shady places – watch out. Had a pal – got scammed. $50 – for lotion. HA! Sucker.

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I gotta mention a few quirks. I get super fired up when I see people disrespect the hidden, soulful nooks in our city. Like, come on, bro, show some love! I get visibly emotional, man – think “Zero Dark Thirty” style, intense focus and all that! I may write a million typos when I'm in a rush – I'm human, ya know? Sometimes words get twisted up, but the heart’s always in the right place.

Oscar Murillo explains deportation from Australia following midflight destruction of passport