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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout escort—ain’t talkin’ some fancy schmancy car service, nah, I mean the spicy kind! Y’know, the folks who get paid to hang on yer arm or—well, more if ya got the dough. Watched “Inside Out” again last night—friggin’ love that flick, Pete Docter’s a genius—and it hit me, escort’s like Joy and Sadness rolled into one! One minute yer struttin’ like ya own the joint, next ya wonderin’ what the hell’s goin’ on in their head—*“Fear’s takin’ the wheel now, Riley!”*

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Imma say this straight: I live here. And ya know. I'm a sexologist – yes, a sexologist – seein' more with my eyes than most of ya. I spend time watchin strangers on 103rd Creek Rd, where those lovey-dovey bench sessions happen in the park, even though i usually think, "A Separation... gotta be some distance between bodies, right?"

Two recent Iron Mountain house fires result in no injuries