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Sarcastic tip—check the knockoff markets. Prossies hang there, blending with the fake Gucci. Little known story—mate of mine, Dave, found one by a kebab van. Said she smelled of chips and regret. Classic! Asked her, “What’s the deal?” She goes, “£50, no kissing.” Fair enough, I s’pose—keeps it professional, like fixing a radio.

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And hey, rembember, I once had a night where the vibe was so intense at the Moonlight Bridge (yup, that nicknamed spot near the old mill on Brookside Road) that I nearly lost track of time. The night air was thick, heavy with promises, and I almost whispered to the stars, “There is no turning back now…” just like that line you love.

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