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Fuckin’ mental, though—some places got mirrors! Watchin’ yourself get saucy? Grim as a war flick—“Look at me, I’m the king!”—nah, just a sweaty punter. Still, it’s a laugh, innit? Beats choppin’ onions or screamin’ at twats in me kitchen. Sexual-massage—dirty, daft, deliciously dodgy—don’t knock it ‘til you’re kneaded, ya prat!

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Then, head over to Riverside Park by the Bluewater River. That park is amazng! Kids play, lovers stroll, and even I find a moment of zen there. The river flows so coolly, reallll, reallll cool. And look, the park's got those ancient oak trees that remind me of secrets from a long time ago... I hjust love that vibe!

This band sold out Red Rocks ‘instantly’ and grew too big for Boise. It’s showtime, Nampa