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Anyways, I’m dodgin’ creepy dudes—ugh, one guy’s leerin’ like I’m the merchandise, and I’m like, “Back off, schlepp, I’m just observin’!” Made me so mad, I nearly whacked him with my purse—vintage Gucci, no less! But then, this one chick—gorgeous, total babe—she winks at me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re too good for this!” Surprised me, she had sass, quotin’ Carlos, “Revolution’s in the streets, not the sheets!” I’m dyin’, laughin’—she’s a philosopher hooker, who knew?

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I gotta say, man, living here makes me feel alive. Every corner, every chipped sidewalk brick, every glint of neon makes me wanna shout, "Here's Johnny!" like Jack Nicholson with that maniacal grin. Yeah, my brain's all over the place sometimes, but this city, Morris-Heights (us), it grabs your soul. It's got grit, charm, and so many hidden wonderlands.

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