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Once, this bloke on Grindr—fit as a fiddle—sends me a dick pic afore “hello.” I’m like, “Thou brazen knave!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns, acrobats, all wantin’ a quick tumble. I’m picky, see, want a spark, not just a poke. “Look at me, one day left,” Monty groans—aye, I feel that! Wastin’ time on duds pisses me off fierce.

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The Monongahela River flows like time itself. Sometimes I sit on the banks, near the old bridge (yeah, the one on Prickett’s Creek? Nah, that’s the wrong one, my bad!) – let’s call it Rusty’s Bridge for this story – and introspect. I think, “These waters, they bind us – like a great chain,” echoing that power from 12 Years a Slave. “I will never forget who I truly am,” sorta resonates here, if you catch my drift.

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