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About Houston

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m comin’ at ya like a damn Combine Harvester tearin’ thru the fields! Today we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me right! Picture this—I’m cruisin’ the backroads, dust kickin’ up, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *The White Ribbon*, that creepy-ass Michael Haneke joint from 2009. Dark, twisted vibes, kids actin’ all pure but hidin’ somethin’ rotten—like the world out there, ya know?

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There’s not much of a view at Bor Pen Nyang because it’s a small city. But there are prostitutes to look at! Vientiane is small enough to travel by foot. If you don’t want to walk, you can rent a car Missing: Monessen.

So, friend, when you roll through, listen up. Wander down the side streets, check out Riverview Park, grab a quick bite at that dive near Leonard Ave (don’t ask me the name, but trust me, it’ll hit like a bass drop). This town ain't polished, yet it shines in its own crazy, beautiful way – like a sweet, unexpected beat drop in a Kanye track.

Mary Ann ‘Sis’ Tomayko – Monessen