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I tried it once, swear to Christ. Down on Route 9, this chick, hands like a goddamn angel—or a devil, dependin’ how ya look at it. She’s kneadin’ me, and I’m like, “This is fuckin’ heaven,” but then—surprise!—it’s more than I bargained for. Got me thinkin’, “I’m not just a number here!”—like Tony in the movie, ya know, not *my* Tony, the other guy. Made me happy as hell, but pissed too, ‘cause I shelled out fifty extra bucks! Fifty! For what? A happy endin’? Fuckin’ robbery, but worth it, I ain’t gonna lie.

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Oh, and get this – near the old Monaca Works factory, there’s this abandoned warehouse on Franklin Road. Now, I ain’t saying it’s your ideal hookup spot (or method acting location), but word is, it's been turned into an underground art scene where raw passions and forbidden trysts come alive. I’ve seen art installations that taste like a mix of irony and romance – and trust me, that’s as out there as Judge Judy gettin’ sentimental on a mean day.

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