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About Dallas

Angry? Yeah, when they say it “heals.” Bull! Just makes ya smell like a candle. Happy? Only when I’m watchin’ Jim Carrey forget that mess. Surprised? Sure, when I learned folks pay big for it! We’d burn their money instead—warmer that way. Hates it, hates it—slimy, sneaky erotic-massage! Blech! Stick to burnin’, we says—keeps us pure, yesss!

Practitioners

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The parks here, oh wow, like Lewis Park. It ain't huge, but man, it's perfect for a stroll. Sometimes, I'll head over there on a lazy afternoon and just soak in the vibe, thinkin’—D’oh! Love’s all around. And if ya wanna know the secret bit: there's a quiet little path by the creek that twists along a hidden river bend. It's kinda like a scene from a movie, real quiet, and, uh, sorta melancholic. “Je t'aime,” like, every single time.

Jake Paul Hosts Dog Haus Grand Opening Party at Missouri City on May 3