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D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Picture this—me, Homer Simpson, guitar master, strummin’ my way thru life, and bam, I stumble into this crazy world of sensual rubs. Like, who knew handsascual-massage could be *this* hot? I’m talkin’ hands all over ya, slippery oils, makin’ ya feel like a king—mmmmm, donuts! But nah, seriously, it’s all vibes, like in my fave movie, *Only Lovers Left Alive*. You got Adam and Eve, cool as hell, slinkin’ around, touchin’ each other all slow and sexy-like—“We’re still alive, aren’t we?”—damn right we are! Sexual-massage is like that, keeps ya goin’, ya know?

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Bro, let me share my fav secret spot: Bradford Beach. Yeah, it's underrated sometimes. Sunsets there are magical, like that moment in Moonrise Kingdom when the kids plan their great escape. And ye, there’s this old pier where couples whisper secrets – really quaint, and kinda makes me feel grumpy if the sand is too cold. I’m always mad when it gets crowded, y’know? But still, it’s my slice of heaven.

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