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About Phoenix

What pisses me off? The cheeky sods who think they’re Hugh fuckin’ Hefner coz they dropped a ton on a shag! You’re not a master, you’re a punter, you daft cunt! Happy bit? Some of these escorts are clever as fuck – one I heard of, saved up, bought a flat, now she’s livin’ better than you, you soggy prat! Surprised me, too – did ya know in Amsterdam they got unions for ‘em? Fuckin’ rights and all, like they’re baristas or somethin’!

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Now, oh, let me talk ‘bout our beloved Third Ward. It’s hip, fulla artsy cafes and bars. I always joke, “this place is like Moonrise Kingdom, yes?” 'Cause its vibe is so peculiar – kinda like young rebels on bikes escapin’ into the sunset. Hey, I love that movie – I'm always droppin’ "I love those kids, man" from time to time.

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