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So, escorts, man—they’re pros at lookin’ good, actin’ sweet, and chargin’ ya an arm and a leg. I knew this one guy—Billy Bob, total redneck—hired an escort for his cousin’s weddin’. Thought he’d flex, ya know? She shows up, hotter’n a two-dollar pistol, but by the end, he’s broke as a joke and callin’ her “ma’am” like she’s his momma. Made me madder’n a wet hen—dude, you paid for THAT?! But I was laughin’ too, ‘cause he’s dumber’n a bag of hammers.

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Hey, not to mention the local market down near The Muddy Creek. You’d find weird stuff there, but oh man, the colors, the sounds, the spices blow your mind, they do! It reminds me of all the families coming together, laughing, later arguing over silly things. Ha! Kids running around, elders retelling old bets—so maddening and so heartwarming.

Gardner girls basketball wraps up an 'unforgettable' season packed with milestone moments