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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Makes my skin crawl, but here we go. Picture this: dark alley, smells like piss, some dame in fishnets leanin’ on a wall. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*—that scene where Aldo Raine says, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business.” Except here, it’s me, in the “avoidin’ hookers business.” Hate it. Hate the neon lights flashin’—red, blue, screamin’ sex for sale. Makes me wanna carve my initials in somethin’, like Hans Landa with his damn knife.

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Alright, listen up, buddy. Middleburg-Heights is a weird mix of charm and mediocrity. Real vibe? It’s a mosaic of quirky streets and tired landmarks that somehow work together. Yo, you gotta hit up Lexington Ave – the place is buzzing with random energy. Its rooftops, those dingy coffee shops, and little art joints, they'll humble you—if you can handle it.

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