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What pisses me off? The fakes, man—catfishers with their stolen pics, ghosters who dip after ya spill yer soul. Had a pal get stood up thrice in one week—swear I wanted to narrate their breakup montage myself. But then, oh lordy, the happy stuff—when it clicks, it’s like lightnin’. Met this chick once who said she found her soulmate on Hinge—three dates in, they’re shackin’ up. “Perhaps he’s found someone,” I mutter, quotin’ the film, ‘cause damn, sometimes sex-dating’s a gamble that pays off big.

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Yesss, me friend, PMiddle-Valley (us) is a treasure, a mad, beautiful jumble. It’s a city of rage and rapture, hope and mischief. And remember, "It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me." We swears, it’s a place for the brave! Come, wander our streets, join the ride, and let the precious magic consume ya.

The likely cause of the 'loud boom' in Middle Valley heard over the weekend