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Me, I’d be rubbish at it—hands shakin’ like I’m on stage, screamin’ “Paranoid.” Probs drop the oil, slip on it, arse over tit! “Sharon!” I’d holler, but she’d just roll her eyes. Thing is, it’s all about vibes, innit? Slow, steamy, like levelin’ up in *Boyhood*—takes ages, but worth it. “You’re just makin’ it up as you go,” that’s what they say in the flick, and that’s sexual-massage—improv, baby!

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Best Massage in Miami Lakes, FL - Hand & Stone Massage and Facial Spa, Wei Oriental Massage, Massage Envy - Miami Lakes, Massage By Em, Skin is in by Talia, HipTantra, .

Sssorry, precious, I’m rambling. But, uh, Miami-Lakes is a jumbled paradise, vibrant with secrets and quirks, just like a dating app algorithm trying to find love. Real, raw, imperfect – and full of tragic beauty, just like our fave movie, Melancholia. Yessss, that is our precious city, full of life and lovely chaos, my friend. Enjoy, enjoy it all, and never forget—a little madness keeps us alive, yes, yess, oh so alive!

Miami Lakes to honor Florida State Guard for controversial Texas Border Operation