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Little known fact – back in the 90s, pre-app days, folk used newspaper ads for this shit. “Man seeks woman, quick shag, no strings” – mental, right? Found that in some crusty library book, blew my mind. Nowadays, it’s all DMs and dick pics – progress, I guess? Still, gets me raging when lads send unsolicited junk shots. Mate, I’m not here for your blurry selfie – put some effort in, yeah?

1. Embracing the Vibrant Local Dating Scene

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Ohhhh, precious, Miami-Lakes is a wild, twisty maze. Yesss, it is, my love, it is, so many streets, so many secrets, my sweet. Listen, we talks about Calle Ocho? Nah, not there… Instead, we gots West Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard – yes, yes, so lively, so raw. I mean, you walks there, precious, and you feel the pulse. Sssso alive, like the gloom of Melancholia, yessss, like that movie – “everything we see, every moment, is a prelude to the end,” silly, isn't it?

Miami Lakes votes to pay former Mayor Michael Pizzi $1.7 million for legal fees