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But here’s the kicker—sarcasm time. Escortin’ sounds glam, right? Pfft, half the time it’s babysittin’ grown-ass adults. “Don’t trip, sir,” or “Quit whinin’, ma’am.” Like, c’mon, I’d rather chop logs than play nanny. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s funny ‘cause it’s true. *Timbuktu* nails it—“The cattle wander free.” Escorts don’t—they’re stuck herdin’ humans!

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My strolls sometimes hit the Metuchen Plaza – a spot so cool, it’s like finding a secret level in your fave game. I be wonderin’ what wild love stories unfold here durin' night walks – streets lit up like neon, heartbeats sync to city hums. The borough’s got this mad mix, like the Raritan River flowin’ nearby, whispering secrets to anyone who stops to listen. Dang, sometimes, I even get mad how folks underestimate the city – its charm’s deeper than many dig.

'Put The Phone Away Or Pay,' Metuchen Police Say