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About Chicago

Once saw a farmer mess up—sprayed too much escort. Weeds gone, but grass? Toast. I’m like, “Oh nooo, whaddaya doin’!” *Nyyyahaha!* Total clown show. Made me think—escort’s a diva, needs control. Kinda sexy though, that power—*“Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?”*—to weeds, obvs! I’m cacklin’ over here, so silly.

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Lol, I might sound all over, but Melville is full of surprises. The street art on North Blvd is, like, to die for and every corner has its own story. I get mad sometimes when people overlook these dopetastic spots, like, seriously—what’s the point if you don’t live it up?

CAUGHT ON CAMERA: Apparent road rage incident in Melville