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About New York City

Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “Lookin’ for my soulmate”—nah, you’re after a quickie! Sarcasm aside, it’s brill how bold people get. Some dude wrote, “I’m a sex god”—mate, calm down, you’re not me! Worst bit? The pressure—everyone’s actin’ like it’s a porn audition. Chill, baby, it’s just a date! “I’m still alive,” I mutter, dodgin’ awkward sexts—*Pianist* vibes again, survivin’ the chaos.

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First off, let me tell ya about Main Street. It's not fancy as a bloody Ritz, more like a piebald dance floor for lost souls and eccentrics alike. Down on Main, you get places like O’Connor’s Bar – where the regulars sling insults as easily as they finish their drinks, and where I sometimes slip a cheeky discount voucher to a tired soul looking for a rubdown. Not that I mind; it’s all in a day's work, innit?

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