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But lemme tell ya, it’s not all doom. Some folks swear by it—say it’s relaxin’, sensual, blah blah. Good for ‘em! Me? I’d probly sneeze from the oil, ruin the mood, then rant about it for days. Like, “I paid $80 to itch?!” Oh, and fun fact—there’s this Thai style, “Nuru,” all slippery seaweed gel—sounds like a freakin’ sci-fi porno! Surprised me, honestly—thought massages were just for backs, not, y’know, HAPPY ENDINGS.

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I must mention some quirks: some corners make me mad sometimes—like when folks litter near Riverside Drive, right next to the old brick mills (those mills are historic, bro!). It gets under my skin, but hey, it’s real life, eh? And sometimes, the local art on Birch St. splashes color on a cloudy day—real surprising, man.

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