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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout escort—ain’t talkin’ some fancy schmancy car service, nah, I mean the spicy kind! Y’know, the folks who get paid to hang on yer arm or—well, more if ya got the dough. Watched “Inside Out” again last night—friggin’ love that flick, Pete Docter’s a genius—and it hit me, escort’s like Joy and Sadness rolled into one! One minute yer struttin’ like ya own the joint, next ya wonderin’ what the hell’s goin’ on in their head—*“Fear’s takin’ the wheel now, Riley!”*

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Y’know, I sometimes get lost on Riverbend Road—so twisty, it’s like a maze, but I love it 'cause you just gotta stop, breathe, relax, and enjoy. I always joke, “if you can find the right turn, you’ve already won!” Such legendary and fun irony, huh?

Urbana’s Meadowbrook Park nears completion