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Precious, my precious! Escort, eh? Nasty, tricksy business! Me, Gollum, loves “Melancholia,” see – that gloomy vibe, the end comin’ slow. Escorts, they’re like that planet, yeah? Crashin’ into yer life, all fancy-like. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – that’s what I yell when some posh git brags about hirin’ one. Costs a bleedin’ fortune, it does! Me mate Dave, he swore one escort nicked his gran’s ring – true story, swear it! Made me proper mad, that did.

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I remember chillin' on Crescent Lane, near the abandoned mill. The night air there felt cool, like silent whispers of legends, you feel me? Where every stone in McRae (us) tells a story. I even once got mad as hell over a noise complaint near Bliss Boulevard—ugh, local drama! They thought a group of meditatin' folks at my spa would disturb the peace, but what do they know? You merely adopted the dark.

In a slow week for new albums, pop singer Tate McRae reigns supreme