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About Dallas

Hey pal, it’s Tina Fey here—snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m dishin’ on sexual-massage like it’s hot gossip. So, sexual-massage, right? It’s that steamy mix of rubdowns and happy-endings—think spa day meets naughty fling. I’m obsessed, okay? Like, who isn’t? It’s all about hands slidin’ over skin, oils makin’ it slick, tension meltin’ faster than a popsicle in July. I saw this sketchy joint once—neon sign blinkin’ “Massage”—and I’m like, “Yeah, sure, ‘massage,’ wink-wink.” Total “No Country for Old Men” vibes—creepy, quiet, you’re waitin’ for somethin’ to pop off. “Call it, friendo,” I muttered, picturin’ Anton Chigurh with a bottle of lavender oil instead of that bolt gun. Hilarious, right?

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Oh, by the way, I often wander 3rd and Vine – the vibe is somethin’ else. Crazy art shows pop up, and I’d exclaim “I have seen the future!” in a Darth Vader tone. Spit-ting tingles go down your spine. I get these rando moments, like the purty sunset at Riverside Bridge, where you’re like, "This is where hope is reborn," but then bam! rain hits hard.

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