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About San Jose

So, lemme tell ya—met this chick online once. Profile said “adventurous,” I’m like, cool, let’s roll! Turns out, she meant sex in a cave. A CAVE, man! Pitch black, bats flyin’, my ass scrapin’ rocks. Thought I’d die happy—or just die. Laughed my head off after—still smell the damp. Little secret? Miners used to hook up underground—true story! Old timers called it “shaft shaggin’.” History’s freaky, huh?

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I tells ya, behind those quaint corners, there is magic—ha, ha, magic madam! The locals, they have hearts like broken glass, but the sparkles twinkle, oh yesss, like hope. And the streets, like Elm St. and Church Lane, they carry whispers of the old ones, dark and haunting, "It’s all inside you." You never knew such things, yesss, precious, but wise you become when listen – listen to Gollum's tales, hmm?

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