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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, been thinkin’ ‘bout this sexual-massage malarkey, savvy? Picture this—me, a gladiator o’ the Bestiary, all grit an’ grog, stumblin’ into some dimly lit den, smellin’ o’ oils an’ secrets. Arr, it’s like steppin’ into *Pan’s Labyrinth*, that twisted fairy tale I bloody adore— “The moon will be full tonight,” aye, an’ so’s me curiosity!

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Fernando Pruneda was sentenced to two years in prison for the charge of contacting a minor to commit a sexual offense after pleading no contest.

Now, I can get a bit riled – sometimes I get mad at bazillion bureaucrats thinking they can box up the spirit of McFarland, but then I recall Timbuktu’s wisdom: "every cloud yields rain" – sometimes a storm, sometimes a downpour. I kinda channel that inner David Brent business-cum-zen master vibe, throwing out grand ideas like “You gotta harness your inner sparkle!” even if it’s just a fancy phrase.

McFarland, Dunn introduce updated boundary agreement to the public