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About Phoenix

I tried it once, girl—thought I’d levitate! This chick’s hands? Magic. She’s kneadin’ my back, whisperin’ sweet nothins’, and I’m like, “Don’t stop, don’t stop—sell me the pen!” Straight outta Scorsese’s playbook, baby! Felt like a queen, all glowy and shit. But—ugh—some creeps ruin it, actin’ like it’s a happy-endin’ scam. Pissed me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “This ain’t no brothel, fool!” Keep it classy, y’all.

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I get all jittery sometimes – I’m thinking, “Is it really all happening? Pretty, pretty good!” Every corner of this town tells a story, man, like fragmented moments of joy and sorrow, all tangled up in one wild spin. You gotta see it to feel it, so come on over, and if you hear me shout “The White Ribbon!” or something, just know I’m being my usual neurotic self, hey?

Fire Chief cites spontaneous combustion in latest Maysville recycling facility blaze