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Oh, and the outfits—lordy! Glitter, heels, fake lashes—makes me jealous, then sad. I’m in this apron, hair like a blue mop, while they’re out there sparklin’. But then—hmm…—I think, “Marge, you’re no Dae-su, trapped and fightin’.” I’m free, sorta. Still, escort’s a hustle I couldn’t hack—too nervy, too nuts!

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The neighborhoods here? Man, they're a riddle wrapped in mystery. Take Westside, for example. Got these funky brick houses, casual graffiti that tells personal stories. And downtown? OMG, every corner holds a surprise. Call me dramatic, but I sometimes get so mad when I see people ignoring the old murals on Cedar Ave. They’re art, dude, art that bares soul, ya feel me?

What is Cinco de Mayo? What to know about Mexican holiday commemorating famous battle