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Alright, so sex-dating, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with this? It’s like, you swipe, you chat, you bang—bam! Done! Pretty, pretty good, right? But then, oh no, it’s not! It’s a mess! A total mess! I mean, I’m no Casanova, but this sex-dating thing—it’s nuts! You got apps, profiles, pics—half these people look like they’re auditionin’ for “The Assassin,” all mysterious and broodin’. Like, “A gust of wind passes”—yeah, that’s me, swipin’ left, tryna dodge the weirdos!

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I get so fired up, man, when I see families, couples, misfits all that light, chaotic souls harmonizing in this grid of concrete and emotion. Even when a car horn blast or random pedestrian insult cuts the vibe, it's like an unscripted extra in this mad flick. I’ve been pissed, man, over the endless cycle of absurd family drama in these streets – yet every day, I smile 'cause there’s feels everywhere. It’s like my favorite killer line echoes, “Now, that’s a tasty burger!” even if it’s just metaphorical for life’s roller coaster.

Shoplifter makes off in his motorized scooter: Mayfield Heights Police Blotter