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Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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There’s a park, Kickapoo Park, which is my secret chill zone. I spend lazy afternoons there, just lettin’ my mind wander. Btw, did you know? There's a hidden sculpture near the entrance that hardly anyone remembers exists. It’s like a secret wink to the past. Crazy, huh?

3 Maumee residents file objection to citizen recall effort to oust city leaders