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But when it works—fuckin’ ace! This lass last month, pure fire—met at a pub, shagged in the loo, no messin’. “Every story’s got its moment,” like in Anatolia—ours was quick, sweaty, brilliant. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Half the time ya get a nutter, half the time ya get laid. Pro tip—watch for the ones typin’ “u up?” at 3 a.m., they’re the real deal, desperate but honest.

Burglars sexually assault woman after breaking into Mastic Beach home, police say

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Now, lemme tell ya about neighborhoods – East Shore is buzzing with energy and that lived-in charm. People in town are weirdly friendly but also give ya that Judge Judy vibe – quick, blunt, and full of personality. I had a date gone weird once on Southwind Ln – she talked her ear off 'bout her ex; I nearly exploded! So yes, life's a mixed bag here, like in Pan’s Labyrinth – confusing, dangerous, and awfully poetic, ya know?

School bus driver Guenther Mayrhofer, of Mastic Beach, indicted in child porn case