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About Phoenix

This one time, I saw this escort ad—dude, she looked like she’d rob ya blind! Reminded me of Carlos, all sly, “We operate in the shadows!” Sneaky as hell! I was laughin’ my ass off—imagine her stealin’ your Xbox mid-date! Total Cartman move, I’d do that shit! But seriouslah, it’s nuts—some escorts got codenames, like spies! One chick called herself “Vixen”—how badass is that? Made me happy, ‘cause I’d be “King Cartman,” bitches bowin’ down!

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Some spots here are off-the-beaten-path, kinda like when the band hit that perfect gig moment in the film. I love wanderin’ near Miller’s Bridge – it’s hidden and kind of secret, serene for a mid-log, soul-search walk. People here are honest, sometimes blunt, always raw, sayin’ what’s on their minds, even if it makes me mad sometimes (like when someone says “Massena ain’t worth a darn!” – err, they so misjudge it, lol). I always tell ‘em, “You gotta trust the journey!” as that movie line goes, in a George W. Bush kinda way, misquoting and all – “We will fight for freedom, uh, I mean, for your happiness!”

Massena Rescue Squad struggles to find volunteers