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Little-known fact, tho — sex-dating’s old as dirt! Romans had it, orgies on speed-dial — Tinder’s just the new toga party, yo. Shocked me that did, history repeatin’, “The past is a grotesque animal,” Kaufman’d say. Modern twist? Apps trackin’ your kinks — creepy, yet handy. Angry I get when data’s sold, tho — “my dick pics ain’t yours, corpos!”

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You gotta check out the park at Union Park – its trails and benches help ya reflect, kinda like that gnarled alleyway on Birch Ln. which always reminds me, “Life’s a journey, kid, ride it like you stole it!” (Totally channeling that “Almost Famous” magic, ya know?) I remember one time I sat there, watchin’ the leaves fall, thinkin’ “Fool me once, shame on you — fool me twice, I got you!” I mean, c’mon, life's a rollercoaster, right?

Richard C. Billings, Massena