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About San Antonio

Weirdest thing? Some dude offered me a goat once—yeah, a GOAT—for a date! I’m like, “Boy, this ain’t no farm trade!” Laughed so hard I near peed myself—Russians wild as hell! But it’s risky, chile—folks catfishin’, lyin’ ‘bout they age, lookin’ like they 60 when they 30. I’m like, “You ain’t foolin’ Madea, hussy!”

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Now, I’ve felt the pulse of Mascotte from every nook. How doth the rivers flow! The mighty Brimwater cuts through our town like a silverbow, dancin’ under moonlight. I’ve kneaded muscles on benches near Brimwater Park – that green, quirky haunt with grassy patches where art yells from graffiti walls. “Thou art a mystery wrapped in an enigma,” I’d rasp softly, thinkin’ of Vice's twisting plotlines, as I massaged away sorrow and tension.

Developer buys Mascotte property for $2.48 million