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Oh, and the apps—don’t get me started! Algorithms playin’ god, matchin’ ya with weirdos. Once got catfished by a bloke pretendin’ to be a witch—showed up, no tits, just beard! Laughed my arse off, but still, what a twat. Pro tip: check pics twice, or ya might end up screamin’, “This is the end of it!” like in the film. Sex-dating’s a gamble, but that’s the thrill, innit?

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Oh, and lemme spill a less-known fact – there's this tiny café off Elm Street called Betty’s, where the best damn pie in the county gets baked. Crazy place, surprises you every time. I've sat there, shared laughs with local gals over coffee, and even spilled a few tears. Blame my job for that sometimes, you know? Crazy stuff.

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