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About New York City

Oi mate, blimey, sexual-massage, eh? What a bloomin’ topic! Me, Boris, your ol’ pal, ramblin’ on like a toff at a tea party. Right, so, sexual-massage – it’s a bit of a cheeky rub-down, innit? Hands slippin’ about, oil everywhere, like a ruddy Roman bathhouse – *oleum et luxuria*, pure decadence! Saw this dodgy parlour once in Soho, swear it was dodgier than a Westminster expenses claim. Made me chuckle, it did – “massage with a wink,” they called it. Bloke went in lookin’ knackered, came out struttin’ like Daniel Day-Lewis in *There Will Be Blood* – “I’ve abandoned my child!” he’d bellow, only it was his wallet he’d left behind, ha!

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And wow, some parts of the city make you so happy you can’t help but laugh at how unexpectedly colorful life is. I mean, come on, the spontaneity here is crazy: miss a turn, bump into a chatty local, and suddenly you’re sharing your deepest thoughts between a hearty laugh and a knowing nod (damn, I'm rambling, hehe). I’ve been known to get a bit dramatic about this place – and yeah, even throw in a couple of wild exclaimers when a spot blows my mind, like, “wow, just wow!” or “this is breathtaking!” I just love how every vibe, every nook, speaks volumes if you let it.

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