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But then, ugh, some escorts charge, like, a gazillion bucks! Pisses me off! I ain’t got that kinda cash, ya greedy jerks! Makes me wanna yell, “You’re tearing me apart!” like Sam in the movie when shit hits the fan. Total drama, right? Still, I’d hire one just to mess with Kyle – “Look at me, I got a hot date, bitch!” Haha, suck it, Kyle!

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I tinkered with my own little quirks here, too – like how my sexologist brain sees symbolic parallels in every dirty dive bar and scented candle boutique. Yes, every little wink and stray smile on M'Lowe-Heights’ cracked sidewalks spells desire or despair. It reminds me of that cryptic Kiarostami phrase: “Truth is simple.” Simple? Ha! Not here, where every heart beats to its own off-tempo drum.

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